


5 Times No One Properly Dealt with Tim’s Death and 1 Time Someone Did

by dysphoriccanada



Series: Crowded Caves, Family Faves [8]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Bat Family, Batfamily Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, im not putting anyone through that tbfh, this is.. some oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 13:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16264997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dysphoriccanada/pseuds/dysphoriccanada
Summary: People deal with grief differently.





	5 Times No One Properly Dealt with Tim’s Death and 1 Time Someone Did

**Author's Note:**

> okay I'm gonna start listing ages again bc I feel like left some peeps confused lol
> 
> (first of all, for reference, Tim was 16)
> 
> Terry -26  
> Helena -25  
> Damian - 19  
> Harper - 17  
> Cullen -14
> 
> (additional)  
> ...(also these aren't solid ages but ROLL w it also im probably making up yj ages as I go)  
> Jon -21/22  
> Colin -19/20  
> Conner -okay like. almost year. but he LOOKS 16ish kinda like og  
> Bart -17ish  
> Cissie -16ish  
> Cassie -17ish  
> Jaime -15ish

5\. Terry and Helena

Terry and Helena hadn’t really known Timothy Drake. They knew him through the family of course, seeing as in that last year Bruce had moved to officially adopt him, but they’d never got to really bond with the kid outside of their nightly activities. 

They knew he was smart enough to be smarter than any of the family, but not smart enough to get passing grades (he had priorities). They knew that Bruce and Selina adored him, in their own little fucked up way, but they also knew what it felt like to be loved by them and knew sometimes it wasn’t enough to just assume it. They knew Harper considered him to be her best friend, and they knew about the Gotham elite’s gossip towards how both the Row’s really felt about him (they ignored that mostly though).

They knew that Damian cared about him. That he cared about him so much, he couldn’t even go to them for help. That Tim was so important to Damian, that Terry and Helena were useless to him now.

Terry and Helena never met the real Tim Drake. The one they knew everyone loved so much, and would love for the rest of their lives. The one that should have outlived them all. The one that wanted nothing more than to make everyone proud.

Terry and Helena had never tried to know him. They never tried to actually meet their newest, smartest, wonderful little brother, and they didn’t know how to admit to anyone that for the first time since being toddlers, they had no idea what to do.

 

4\. Young Justice

With their leader (and best-friend) fallen, the Young Justice team felt stuck, and alone. 

Conner and Cassie fell into each other, for comfort, but also because they’d both loved him so much they grasped for that love in each other. The team never made a comment, never said anything about the relationship really, but they all watched it happen in silence. They didn’t want to take the feeling away from them, as fake as it was. The feeling of having something, anything, to experience that love again. 

Cissie went in on herself, to say the least. She spent all her days training, and all her nights fighting. Every once and a while, she let her friends try and keep up, but mostly she stuck to silently shooting people on her lonesome. It concerned everyone to say the least, to watch their usually so snarky and loud friend be so… deadly, for lack of a better word.  
Bart, the usually so happy and go lucky speedster, was quiet, and not as excitable as he’d always been. So many memories, moments, were now just a dull ache in the back of his mind. He found comfort in Jaime, their Blue Beetle, most days. Unlike Cassie and Kon, they were expected to last. That didn’t mean how the boys got together was healthy, but it certainly wasn’t a bad decision in the end.

The rest of their team, their friends, like Greta, Anita, Lobo, and Langford, found themselves drifting away. They felt exiled in a way. The media had never liked them quite as much as their other friends, and certainly without Kid Bat there to keep their team together, the others found themselves… lost. Out of place. In a way they hadn’t found themselves before this.

Young Justice found itself falling apart, with no one left to pick up the pieces.

 

3\. Harper

Harper retires Blue Bird after her brother dies. She’s seventeen, and she’s tired, and decides she needs to leave. 

She makes a deal with Bruce and Damian, that if no one in the superhero community tries to contact Blue Bird, she’d go to Gotham University for engineering and get a real career. They agree, in the end, and her suit gets put in the case permanently. The real reasons Harper requests to have it put next to Tim’s suit, is known to no one but Damian in the end, but he’d never admit to it. He knows better than to accuse her of thinking such.. Awful, things. 

At school, Harper hides in her work. She chooses to focus on high grades rather than socializing, and doesn’t talk to anyone outside of her family and professors. 

Cullen points out once or twice that maybe she should open up, to talk about it, but every time the teenager is met with the silent treatment from his sister for a week. Eventually, he drops it, and joins Harper in her hiding. 

 

2\. Selina and Bruce

After losing a child, statistically most couples break up, and maybe they should have, but in the end the king and queen of Gotham stayed together. Perhaps it was for the image, or for their other children’s sakes, but deep in their hearts Bruce and Selina knew one thing; they were dangerous people.

Selina had killed. In desperate times, Bruce toed the line. If they stayed, they could keep the other grounded, remind each other of their morals, and what they believe in. Remind each other what their son would have wanted.

In public, outside of their home, all of the world had a perfect view of the grieving couple. The broken parents that leaned into each other, and held each other up while their children grasped at their hands desperately like toddlers. They saw strong leaders, pushing forward in the worst of times, in an attempt to keep the rest of their family together.

But at home, their family knew different. In the streets, their enemies were wary. As much as Bruce and Selina had agreed to keep their morals straight, to keep each other safe, there were still gray areas.

Bruce Wayne could save Selina Wayne-Kyle, and Selina Wayne-Kyle could support Bruce Wayne.

But there was nothing Batman could do about Catwoman’s disappearing acts with her dear friends Harley and Ivy. Nothing Catwoman could do in time to restrain Batman when it really mattered.

Bruce and Selina may have been surviving during their days, but their nights were spent leaving their loved ones in a panicked state of mind.

 

1\. Damian

It began when Damian stopped pulling back during training. Jon quickly grew used to ending up with a shard of kryptonite in his hand, or being drained of his powers for an hour twice a week. Colin found more instances where Damian would trick him into activating his powers, simply for the sake of a fight. They’d also noticed that Damian, though a genius and most definitely smarter than the both of them combined, had begun falling behind in his courses. It went as far as his economics professor tracking them both down and begging the young men to help their roommate. 

It continued when Damian stopped eating dinner with them, choosing to go up to the roof and eating dinner alone. He’d make dinner, and he’d make sure they got their share, but he wouldn’t sit with them anymore. He barely made a sound when he’d slip back inside, and into his room.

They thought it was close to being over when Damian broke down crying in front of them one night. Colin held onto Damian, while Jon held the both of them, and they sat for hours and hours, until the sun rose again. They let the younger man cry and ramble, and they offered advice, extended their care to him and promised they’d never let him slip again, and would make sure to have him communicate more. They’d always forgive him, and that his emotions were valid. 

But the next morning, after only a half hour nap, Colin and Jon woke up to find their best friend, and a few of his most important belongings, missing from the complex. All that was left, was a note claiming that he was going to continue paying his piece of the mortgage, but he needed space. That he thanked them for everything, but he needed to be where he wasn’t when his brother died, where he should have stayed.

Colin and Jon shared a look, and knew that really, it was far from over. They refused to let their mini-bat be lost, but were forced to accept that this Damian, this shell of a man left in his brothers wake, was not the hero they’d loved for all those years. 

 

 

+1. Damian and Conner

Damian laid in his childhood room, staring up at the ceiling. The silence of the manor was deafening in his mind, and the breeze coming from his open balcony door bit at his arms. He’d only moved back in a week ago, but he already felt as if it’d been a mistake.

Damian missed Jon and Colin. He agonized over not being with them, most hours of the day, but he knew in his heart that if he wasn’t available 24/7 for his younger siblings, like he hadn’t been for Tim, he’d never forgive himself. Damian had decided that no longer living with the men her adored, was more important than Harper or Cullen needing him and not being there.

Not that Harper or Cullen had made any moves to spend more time with him.

As he laid there, belittling himself subconsciously, Damian heard the tap of feet landing on his terrace over the white noise in his room. He groaned, rolling away from the door.

“Go away, Jonathan. I already told you and Colin that I will not be returning home yet.” Damian snaps into his pillow, knowing full-well his kryptonian ears would hear him.

“Uh, I don’t know what’s up with you and my brother,” Decidedly-not-Jon’s voice answers, “But if you could at least look at me, I’d like to talk.” Damian sits up, and stares confusedly at Conner Kent, who he definitely had not been expecting ever. 

“What are you doing here Kent?” Damian asks in confusion. “I’m very sure that the Boyscout in Blue has very firm rules about not coming to Gotham.”

“And the Big Bad Bat has even more, yet you and Jon live together downtown-” Conner stops himself. “Or… lived, I guess.” Damian rolls away again.

“That’s not your business.” The bat mutters. Conner groans and steps into the room.

“Seriously, Damian-”

“Shadow, to you. Conner Kent and Damian Wayne-Kyle-al Ghul have no affiliation.”

“Shadow, then.” Conner rolls his eyes. “Can we please talk? I just… you’re the only person I could think of.” Damian huffs in annoyance.

“I highly doubt I’m the only person. Your team, your fathers, your brother, cousin, for christ sakes the Black Canary is a goddamn therapist.”

“My team has forgotten how to communicate, you seem to forget that Clark hates me, Lex is in jail right now, Jon is a dumbass, Kara doesn’t know how to get emotional without blowing something up, and Canary is so not someone I want to know about this shit.” Conner explains in a pained voice. Damian groans, running a hand down his face.

“Sit.” He snaps, pointing to the desk chair across from his bed. Conner obeys, and Damian glares. “What?”

“I wanted to talk-”

“You said this already.”

“-About Tim.” 

Damian blinks, and Conner looks at his folded hands.

“I see.” Damian says in a soft voice. “What exactly about Timothy would you like to discuss?”

“Anything.” Conner blurts. “Everything. I really just wanna get so much shit off my chest, but I can’t expect anyone to else to be able to talk to me about it the way I need them to.”

“And how do you need them to talk about it?” Damian questions. Conner fiddles with his hands, not meeting the elder hero’s eyes.

“The way you and Tim used to talk. Detached, not as invested in comforting and consoling as just giving advice and listening. None of that stupid he’s still with us, crap, because he’s not, he’s gone, and we couldn’t save him. I don’t anymore people to just tell me it’s okay to cry, because I fucking know it’s okay to cry, because my best friend in the entire world and probably the most amazing person ever is dead, and I couldn’t save him.”

“You changed the prefix.” Damian states calmly. Conner looks up, face confused. “First you said ‘we’ couldn’t save him. Then you said ‘I’. Conner, do you blame yourself?” Conner swallows hard, hanging his head in shame. Damian sighs, taking his reaction as answer enough.

Conner feels, more than notices, as Damian steps in front of him.

“You’re not to blame, Conner.” Damian says softly. “I know you don’t believe me. It’s a hard truth to face, but the reality is that it’s no one’s fault that Timothy died. He was tricked, and manipulated, into believing that his father may have been alive. The Joker fooled all of us. He is to blame. Not those of us who tried to save him.”

“But I could have tried harder, I could have-”

“Stop.” Damian cuts him off. “Stop. My brother wouldn’t have wanted the boy he cared for so much to be so broken, over something he had no say in. There was kryptonite surrounding the entire building, you know this, and you know that there was no way you, Jonathan, Kara, or Clark could have got to him.” Conner gives a defeated huff, and puts his head in his hands.

“I miss him so much.” His says. Damian sighs and places a hand on his shoulder.

“I know.” Damian admits, placing a delicate hand on Conner’s shoulder. “I’m sorry he was taken from you. From all of us. I loved him too, and I’m so very sorry you’re going through this.” They sit in silence for a while, their sadness and mutual desperation surrounding them like a blanket. 

“Hey, Shadow?” Conner speaks up after a while. Damian hums, and Conner takes a deep breath before speaking. “That day, that you came into YJHQ all panicked. After that mission with kryptonite or whatever. You had one of those talks with Tim.”

“Yes. I remember.” Damian huffs. “He called me, crying and on the verge of a panic attack. I thought someone had died, I thought he was hurt. I didn’t even think I just… went to him. And it wasn’t even anything life-threatening. He was just overthinking again.”

“What did you talk about?” Conner asks. Damian stiffens, and the boy pulls away, looking ashamed. “Sorry I shouldn’t- I know those were really personal for you guys.”

“No, no, just… Don’t apologize, I just haven’t actually talked about any of those talks. With anyone.” Damian assures him. “We. We talked about his feeling of detachment, from other heros. He used to feel like, if he ever acted like anything less than a hero, no one would take him seriously. That if he showed even the slightest bit of humanity, while in the cape, people would think less of him. He felt bad, because he was so worried about you that day, about how you could have gotten seriously injured, but the whole time he had to be the soldier. The leader, that everyone needed, rather than the friend.” Conner’s face grows pained, his eyes beginning to tear up again.

“We- why would he think that?” He hissed. “We never- we never would think less of him. We spent days, weeks, trying to get him to be more open with us. We loved him, he was family, our friend, we’d never-”

“I know that.” Damian holds up a hand. “I told him as much when he told me. Rest assured, I did not leave that room until I was confident that my brother would be safe.”

“Good.” Conner nods. “I can’t... I hate thinking about all that shit he went through, that I wasn’t able to help with. I felt useless sometimes, you know? He was so… Tim.” 

“I know exactly what you mean.” Damian smiles softly. “You know, that wasn’t the only thing we talked about. There was… one other thing.”

“Yeah?” Conner looks up at him, hopefully. “What about?” Damian huffs a laugh.

“You, Clone Boy. We talked about you.”

“O-oh?” Conner stammers.

“Mhm. I think I was the first person Timothy ever told about having a crush on you. It was quite sweet actually.” Damian teases. “He was rather.. Overzealous, about it, if you will.” He looks away from Conner, to smile absentmindedly at the wall across from them. “He raved about you for hours to me, many times, and I always let him. He found some… interesting, connections, between your relationship and the one I shared with your brother.”

“Gross.” Conner jokes. Damian scoffs and pushes him. 

“He did love you, Conner.” Damian says softly. “So much.” Conner hangs his head.

“Yeah. I know. He wasn’t as sly as we let him believe.” Conner says. “God, I’m so dumb, you know? I had just convinced myself to try and shoot my shot, and then I just… watched him slip right through my fingers.” Conner laughs, wetly, and wipes away fresh tears. “How am I even still crying? You’d think I’d’ve died of dehydration by now.”

“You lost someone very important to you.” Damian says. “Crying is expected. No use tearing yourself apart over being sad.” 

“I guess.” Conner shrugs. “Hey, Shad-?”

“Just call me Damian, Conner.” Damian interrupts with a smile. Conner returns one, softly.

“Damian.” He amends. “Do you think… we could do this again?” Damian mulls it over for a moment, then nods.

“I think, Conner Kent, that we have both lost someone of great value to us. And our shared memories and care for him may help us.” Conner smiles again.

“Thanks, Damian.”

“Of course, Conner.”

**Author's Note:**

> check out my tumblr @shitthebatfamprobablysaid if you have any questions or just want to ramble :)


End file.
